Protection and Destruction
by Crystallinee
Summary: An one-shot about Sasuke's feelings after losing Itachi for the last time. In his heart, he will carry on the memories of his brother until the end of time. And not even death will be able to bring them apart. -Spoilers chapter 590-


**This was something I wrote after reading chapter 590. Nothing has ever awaken such strong feelings inside of me than that chapter, seeing Itachi and Sasuke at such perfect harmony. This is a one-shot about Sasuke's feelings. Brotherly love. **

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Night again. I could feel it coming back although I didn't look; there was no need for that. An ever dark sky hovering above me, clothed with thousands of faint crystals, covering the world up there with glimmering stars. And I'm alone, no one can join me in this. Because it's now I realize, how alone I really am. As starlight shines down on my face and caress my closed eyelids, I'm imagining.

"_No matter what you decide to do from now on... I will love you forever."_

Itachi had said that he loved me. And then he disappeared again. There would be no other time.

_I will always be there for you, my little brother. Even if I'm not here on the earth anymore._

I slowly open my eyes, watching the shadows from the surrounding trees play with the breeze.  
I've spent so many years of hating... so many nights of clenching my teeth in agony, giving up everything for the sake of revenge. It's so hard to take this all of a sudden, the real truth about the brother who sacrificed his life for my sake.

That he loved me just as much as I loved him when we were little. And although I was supposed to die that night, together with our parents, he saved me. He gave me life, the life I'm living today.

I lower my head and I know that he is here right now. I know that he is gone – and there will definitely be no other time, he will not come back – but still it feels like he is crouching beside me right now, embracing me slowly. As tears starts to flow from my eyes - his eyes - I raise my hand to touch his soft face.

With the eyes of a demon and the voice of a killer… but with the heart of a big brother.

Itachi is here right beside me now, although no one can see him. Maybe I've gone mad, but I'm already so deep on my way to hell, so why don't enjoy the sweet flames of the sin while I'm still are on it? My Nii-san is giving me that smile that only he can, and only I am seeing it. His fingers are touching my forehead and I close my eyes once again.

I am completely on my own, and my whole life I've been. I have no one to turn to, nowhere to go. But still, as long as the moon is casting its gentle light upon us, he is here. I know he will disappear as soon as the sun raises, and my life will go on, but in my heart I will stay forever this way.

Love is a strange thing. I'm very late to discover it, especially judging by all the hearts I broke to reach this point. Love so sweet that you'd give up your life for it, but it hurts. Love is nothing but pain, but although we know it, we can't keep ourselves from joining its beauty.

"Nii-san." As the night passes by, I'll talk quietly to him. I do it every night, and I know that my gentle, warm-hearted brother is here to listen. Even if I was the one to take him from this world, he is with me when I need him. Even if it's never enough.

I have to life the rest of my life – an unsightly life, just as he told me – remembering him. He takes shape beside me now and I can clearly feel his arms, holding me safe. I hear his soft voice in my head, and I can see the gentle smile from my childhood, taking all of the memories back.

_Sasuke, we only part to meet again. I will be here for you even though I am gone..._

And here we sit, and I talk to him. I know that he can hear me. In my mind, we're sitting on the porch in front of our house and while the sun is slowly setting, marking that our time is running out in the sand, I can say everything I have wanted to say for such a long time.

I am destined to live. And you took the strike for me, you saved me so many times.

And now I'm sitting here, feeling more empty than ever before. I finally realize that you left me for real, and you are disappearing from me, nii-san. Living has a price – and you payed it for me, over and over again. I got to look into your memory, which horrible things you have been holding inside. The words have left me, how do you expect me to go on?

My imaginary Itachi is smiling sadly. His voice is a faint whisper: _I know you will manage to do that. _

I ask him; will I ever see you again? What if you get a new life, if you becomes someone else in the future? How will I ever... ever... be able to let that person live?

He is quiet, and I'm no longer a sixteen-year old, Orochimaru's apprentice. I'm just a child.

Come back, nii-san. I want you to hold me again... I haven't said everything I wanted. I hardly understand. There's so much I... so much I want to tell you still. A loss of this kind isn't something you can expect me to get over, no matter how long time that passes. I've been blinded for so long, but now I can see. I am still sitting here, the feelings are drowning me.

_What am I to do now?_

Itachi just smiles and strokes one of my bangs out of my face. Like he always did when we were little. _Don't cry, little brother, I am here for you. You don't have to cry. _

"As you will always exist to protect the village, I will always exist to destroy it." That was what I told you, nii-san. That I am and will forever be your opposite, your other piece, your brother.

Destruction and protection, that's what we are.

You're still here, my brave, my gentle, care-taking older brother. I can feel it in every breath I take, that you're here. You're watching over me until the day I die and we will leave this world together, you and me. I can still see the sorrow and angst on your face, how you were trembling with sobs when you killed our parents. But you did it. You were stronger than I've ever been.

I am Sasuke Uchiha, and I have a another world inside of me. Where we still just are kids, playing together as the years are shifting around us. Nii-san and I. I will always remember how beautiful your eyes were, and I could see the sky in them.

The innocent, blue sky that would always keep the rain away from us. And now Itachi is wiping my tears away, but he can't change anything. I still remember when we ran around, playing in front of our house. The world was shining and the sun was warming us. No evilness could reach us, childhood was a safe oath. But everything comes to an end, and so do we. The sun had made me blind; I could only see darkness after you left me.

My tears has frozen and I'm staring into the eyes of my brother, not thinking anymore. He rests his forehead against mine again and in my heart, and only there, we will be together forever. I will continue living for him, my heart will continue beating for his sake. Until the end of time, he will wait for me. And when times comes and my heart stops beating, he will be there, taking my hand and guiding me to the next world. He will be by my side the whole time, and as my life goes on, he will be in every breath I take.

His eyes will watch me, and everything I see, he will see.

I'm walking away now towards a indefinite goal. I don't know where I belong.  
But some things I do know - I know that am I loved, and I love but one person.

He is dead. I'm alive. He did everything for me, I have nothing left.

_I will love you forever._

_Sorry, Sasuke…_

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**What did you think? Please review, it means a lot!  
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